A few things that need to be sold in Georgia State’s online store

Georgia State announced the launch of a new online store on Monday to sell branded merchandise.

While there are lots of things that can be bought, here are a few that were missing:

The Ron Hunter bobblehead. (Phil Sklar)

The Ron Hunter bobblehead. (Phil Sklar)

Ron Hunter rolling chair: Need something you can sit on to watch your child’s sporting event? Buy this model of the rolling chair made famous by men’s basketball coach Ron Hunter in the 2014-15 NCAA tournament. Just $99.95. (Doesn’t come with an ability to hit a 30-foot 3-point shot).

Georgia State quarterback Nick Arbuckle. (Georgia State)

Georgia State quarterback Nick Arbuckle. (Georgia State)

Nick Arbuckle’s really big shirt: Are you like me and not follow the fashion trends of wearing skin-tight sportswear? Then you need this really big T-shirt similar to the one worn by quarterback Nick Arbuckle during Georgia State’s 2015 football season. Just $49.95. (Doesn’t come with an ability to throw for more than 4,000 yards).

Georgia State and its partners hopes to purchase Turner Field and move football there. But that's still at least five years away. (AJC)

Georgia State and its partners hopes to purchase Turner Field and move football there. (AJC)

Shares in Turner Field: Just $300 million. What more needs to be said?

Ari Werts’ dance lessons: Let Georgia State tight end Ari Werts teach you the Jug Walk for just $6 per hour. (Doesn’t come with an ability to catch passes).

Penny Hart Dunking machine: With the Penny Hart dunking machine you can perform your own aerial highlights for just $79.99. (Doesn’t come with an actual ability to dunk, or catch passes).

Trent Miles’ scouting reports: How do you take players that didn’t receive any other FBS offers and turn them into all-conference performers? Buy the Miles’ scouting reports and you too can do it. (Disclaimer: You can’t actually do it).

Guide to getting out of the Sun Belt: This manual features advice from some Panthers’ supporters on how the the athletics department can get out of the Sun Belt conference and join any other conference. (Note: the grass may not be greener on the other side).

Special one-day only sale:

Cliche’ decoder ring: This ring, on sale for today only, will take the cliches said by any coach/player/general manager at any university or any  team in any part of the world and turn those quips into usable quotes with illuminating information. Price: Priceless.

Send your ideas for more of the missing items my way at droberson@ajc.com

 

 


View Comments 0